Tygerberg Baptiste Kerk

'n Veilige Hawe vir die Siel

Dealing with Trauma!

Tuisblad/Publikasies/Persoonlike Verlies en Trauma

2 Cor. 4: 8 we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. 11 For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. (NASV)

When great trauma comes into our lives, i.e if a loved-one dies, or if we loose something of value; the shock, grief or disillusionment experienced will likely feel, at first, as if it will completely overwhelm you. But as much as shock unsettles and grief hurts, and it does hurt!! - it won't destroy you if you turn to God. With God's help, you can find the grace and strength to submit even your shock and grief and, more importantly, the wounds it creates to Him and His Glory.
Here are some ways you can find God’s Grace to deal with grief:

Experience it

  • Realize that grief is normal, and allow yourself to fully experience your emotions, which may include shock, disbelief, anger, sadness, regret and anxiety.
  • Have patience with yourself as you go through the grieving process, which lasts a different amount of time for each person.
  • Remember – no one is a asking you to place your loved one (in a case of death)outside of your thoughts or in any way to try to “forget” but the goal is to commit what has happening to the Lord to be used to His glory.
  • Don't be afraid to cry! Tears are valuable. Remember that depression is “normal” or to be expected (to a degree) in relation to a major loss or trauma such as this!
  • Also take serious your responsibility before God not to allow grief, pain or tears to open your inner thought life or your outwards actions toward others to become sinful or self-centered

Be Comforted

  • Ask your Heavenly Father to grant you the grace and comfort of the Holy Spirit – The Comforter. He will hear and He will help you by transforming your pain into personal growth. Reckon – recognise that you are justified through faith not by having “ a stiff upper lip” or by “tough love” or just “biting the bullet.”
  • Know, through study in the word, that the Lord will guide you and providentially work in your life to enable you to adjust to your loss and step into a positive future by accepting God's grace and investing your energy in new pursuits.
  • Be honest about your struggles with grief or disappointment when talking with others, and accept prayer and the friendship support others offer you.
  • Keep a journal of your thoughts, meaningful Scripture passages and your feelings and His will regarding them, and pray specifically about them, asking God to renew

you daily by His grace.

Moving on

  • Take time to care for your physical needs, such as by eating healthy foods, exercising and getting the amount of sleep your body needs each night. If you have insomnia from worrying, pray for God's peace so you can sleep soundly.
  • Savour memories of your loved one, but don't live in the past. Seek God's presence with you now, and make plans for the future.
  • Start new traditions if the old ones you shared with your loved one are too painful for you now. Begin new activities, especially ones in which you can serve others.

Maintain a sense of humour, and strive to enjoy life as much as possible.
Remember in your personal prayer times that our joy is founded upon His victory over death and our hope is as sure as His soon coming return for us. 1 Thess. 4:13 But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope.